“Back in 20”

These fuckers ain’t coming back. I’m sure they will. Nah, they bounced. They definitely skipped out and are not coming back. Okay, if they were, then why would they leave a note? Maybe to seem like they weren’t skipping out? But they definitely just dined and dashed. What if they went to the bathroom orContinue reading ““Back in 20””

Decision Outlets: A Series of Dichotomous Images

Series 1 A flower blooms in a tar pit. A thirsty fly drowns in paper. A silk nightgown on rain clouds. A carbonated flat tire.   Series 2 An illuminated copper shoe. A spilling sapphire receding behind prawns. A giraffe swimming in a shot glass. A dichotomous hippopotamus on house arrest. A long-sleeved homeless tapeContinue reading “Decision Outlets: A Series of Dichotomous Images”

The Women’s Almanac of Personal Questions (Now with Answers!)

Why should I apologize for queefing? You shouldn’t. Say it was a fart, the cat, an old boot, the sound of the patriarchy dying, or, better yet, say it was your vagina and then be proud of your squeaky balloon pocket. What should be done about my unkempt muff? Nothing. If you can grow itContinue reading “The Women’s Almanac of Personal Questions (Now with Answers!)”