The Women’s Almanac of Personal Questions (Now with Answers!)

Why should I apologize for queefing?

You shouldn’t. Say it was a fart, the cat, an old boot, the sound of the patriarchy dying, or, better yet, say it was your vagina and then be proud of your squeaky balloon pocket.

What should be done about my unkempt muff?

Nothing. If you can grow it long enough to cover your tits, then you got yourself a bathing suit for summer as well as a toasty winter coat. It truly is for all seasons.

Should period stained panties be thrown away?

Only ever … periodically.

What should I do about the dark nipple hairs around my areola?

Braid them together and run howling naked through the streets. If possible, attach things to them and windmill them in front of parents. A piece of advice, go for the parents with the furrowed brows.

Should I change the sheets after cumming?

Continue adding to it. Ideally, if you are currently laying in a lake, try creating an ocean as we are currently experiencing a water crisis. Then, sleep in it and feel proud that your body could experience such glorious unfiltered pleasure.

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