The Women’s Almanac of Personal Questions (Now with Answers!)

Why should I apologize for queefing?

You shouldn’t. Say it was a fart, the cat, an old boot, the sound of the patriarchy dying, or, better yet, say it was your vagina and then be proud of your squeaky balloon pocket.

What should be done about my unkempt muff?

Nothing. If you can grow it long enough to cover your tits, then you got yourself a bathing suit for summer as well as a toasty winter coat. It truly is for all seasons.

Should period stained panties be thrown away?

Only ever … periodically.

What should I do about the dark nipple hairs around my areola?

Braid them together and run howling naked through the streets. If possible, attach things to them and windmill them in front of parents. A piece of advice, go for the parents with the furrowed brows.

Should I change the sheets after cumming?

Continue adding to it. Ideally, if you are currently laying in a lake, try creating an ocean as we are currently experiencing a water crisis. Then, sleep in it and feel proud that your body could experience such glorious unfiltered pleasure.

Published by Allia (A.E.) Sadeghipour

"When I was a little girl, a spirit followed me to Las Vegas. Running alongside the moving truck, it's legs twisting into wings, it howled, 'Write damn you!'" Allia (A.E.) Sadeghipour is a Queer Iranian-American Surrealist, humanist, writer, teacher, punk and poet. She is the President of the Women* Writing Berlin Lab (WWBL) and taught workshops for GLADT and Feminist film organizations. She won the Sherry Debrowski Prize for Best Feminist Multi-Genre Fiction writer in 2009 and has not stopped since. Most recently, her work has been featured in: The Bear: Favorite Storyteller (2018 & 2020), KCRW and the Goethe Institute (2018 & 2020), The V Series Poetry Anthology (2019), Berlin Untelevised (2019), Coven (2019), What's Afghan Punk Rock Anyway?! (2019), The Ghosts of Berlin: Der Geister von Berlin (2019), Literarische Diverse (2019), Teach the Rainbow: Insights from LGBTeachers about Queer Visibility (2020), and much more. She has had the honor of performing for GLADT, Wicked, Nightschool Berlin, Viva Con Aqua, the IDP Collective, and the Iranian Re(connect) Festival. By sharing her narratives and perspectives, she hopes to reach out to the world and introduce them to hers: www.awerfjil.com.  @awerfjil #awerfjil

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