Concerned Citizen of the Universe. Episode 6: Love-Heart of the Matter (podcast)

Hey Everybody! As a Concerned Citizen of the Universe, I participated in the Love-Heart of the Matter episode. If you got some time and an open mind, check it out! This is my second ever podcast session, so I truly hope you enjoy the listen.


The word love, for most people, probably conjures an image of two individuals embracing, a family gathered for dinner, or intense passion. Our first clear images of love come from parents or Disney movies, where love is depicted as rosy cheeks or a basketball-sized heart boomeranging through an elastic chest. Other images might come from advertising. As a largely consumerist culture, western society is inundated with products and services promising love, or what feels like love. But the complexity suggested by countless discussions, research, and divorce cases implies a labyrinth fit for the most inquisitive souls. Here, in part 1 of our latest episode, we begin to explore this long-pondered topic.

SOUNDCLOUD: https://soundcloud.com/areyouconcerned/love-part-1


Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/concerned-citizens-of-the-universe/id1483520897?

Never Thought

I never thought I’d live this long

As a queer,

AIDS or God’s wrath.

As a women,

domestic violence,

if not, domestic servitude

As an Iranian-American,

target for a hate crime

As a ‘passing’ Iranian-American,

a 9-5 life and a Mercedes would have done it

Not to mention —

Let’s not mention it.

I just 

Didn’t think I would live this long.

 

I am reminded of choosing to matter

Looking at my reflection 

I see you

scar on your forehead

almond eyes

three little chin hairs

I see you

 

But does my body?

Does my body know me?

I am forced to trust it 

It is the only one I have

But does it know?

Does it?

Does it truly?

Does the body know,

When something is deemed useless?

Does it know,

about toxicity

and the purging of memories?

Does it know,

When I am frightened and quickens its pace?

Does it know,

When to shut up and turn about face?

Does it know,

That love is infinite

but endorphins temporary?

Does it know,

That I should be able to take mushrooms

(at least once!)

And not purge it from my system.

Does it know,

When ‘it’ is lonely?

Does it? Do I?

Do I? Do I know?

What do I know? 

What do I know about my body?

 

This body on temporary loan

This body of autonomous sub-systems 

This body that moves

through space

To experience space

with this body.

Does it know,

that it is mine?

But is it really?

It truly belongs to my mother

She made it for me

Her prototype

And I’m going to have to give this body back

at some point.

I just 

never thought I’d live this long.

Decision Outlets: A Series of Dichotomous Images

Series 1

A flower blooms in a tar pit.

A thirsty fly drowns in paper.

A silk nightgown on rain clouds.

A carbonated flat tire.

 

Series 2

An illuminated copper shoe.

A spilling sapphire receding behind prawns.

A giraffe swimming in a shot glass.

A dichotomous hippopotamus on house arrest.

A long-sleeved homeless tape worm.

 

Series 3

Wrought run sun with veined split ends.

Picture framed water stripes.

Tattoo dust collects postage stamps.

Rewind socks chirping before sifter.

Thylacine doctor runs cling wrap sand.

Curled caverns on perpendicular charcoal.

Words knit bodies on the ends of extinguished outlets.

Shivering in Malfunction

The frustration of living in constant pain to the point of temporary paralysis (oh trust me! Old lefty has crapped out on me quite a few times) while your entire buddy is spasming and cramping as you are desperately on the internet looking for any masseuse or physical therapist that is open or SHIT! even taking appointments in the next 48 hours realizing that there is no one available for you and you have to succumb to creating a Rude Goldberg machine of tennis balls, pool noodle tubes, foam rollers, contorting your body on them in such a way as to stop the spasm, loosen the muscle, and regain feeling back in your numb limbs.

 

But this time
there is no
stopping,
loosening,
or regaining
as I lay there for over an hour
on this bed of therapeutic nails
muscles refusing to contort
shivering in their malfunction
hesitating just above their muscular reset.

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