Ich bin nicht Türkisch

Hallo, sind sie Türkisch?

Ich bin nicht Türkisch.

Naja? Aber woher kommen sie? Nicht Türkei?

[Where do I come from?]

Nein. Ich bin nicht Türkisch. Ich bin eine Amerikanerin.

“Nie, das ist unmöglich. Woher kommen sie? Ihren Familienstadt?”

[Family city? Well most of my mom’s family’s from Cleveland, and my father lives in San Diego. Or is this one of those “official” words you see on documents? Is he asking for my billing zip code? Is he trying to figure out where I live?]


“Versteh mir nicht.”

[No. Shit. Or would that be “nein Scheisse”? Nicht Scheisse? Kein Scheisse? Is there a German equivalent?]

Ihr Vati und Mutti, woher kommen sie? Ihr Nachname?

[Da fuck! Now he wants to know about the genealogy of my last name. What is this guy getting at? Okay, respond in the most elegant way possible]

Um, was?

Ihren Augen sind gross und braun und ihre Nase ist wie ein Berg.

[Berg? Like hamburger? Shit, I know this word. Castle? No that’s Schloss. Wall? No that’s Mauer or Wand or whatever. Berg? What the hell is “Berg”? Like iceberg, like a mountain. Son of a bitch! Did he just say my nose is like a fucking mountain?]

Mein Nase ist wie was?

“Berg, berg, gross, “zig-zag/crooked,” aber ein bisschen hübsch.”

[Is this really happening?]

Was hast du gesagt?

[Oh shit! I just switched to informal.

This dude’s gunna think his horrendous attempt at flirting is working.]

“Naja und deine Beine -”

[Now he’s using the informal. There’s no going back to the formal forms now.

Why is he still talking? Could this get worse?]

Meine Muttie würde mich nie mit einer türkische Frau ausgehen lassen, aber deine exotischen Lippen ….

[Oh yeah it’s getting worse. Sift through your little A-2 brain dictionary. Come on, come on, oh thank goodness my stop is coming up. Now’s my chance to lay it on him! To tell him off, to educate this man on the historical context for which such terms were created in order to oppress people based on their citizenship, gender, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, okay you got this, you got this, stop’s right here. Now use that repertoire of language to educate this man and shut him the fuck up. You got this A-2.]

Nicht jeder mit braunen Augen ist Türkisch.

Nicht jeder, der anders aussieht ist Türkisch.

Nicht jeder mit einer großen Nase ist Türkisch.

Und Ich, ich bin nicht Türkisch.

Und du,

du bist ein Arsch. 

Published by Allia (A.E.) Sadeghipour

Allia (A.E.) Sadeghipour is a Queer Iranian-American Surrealist, Humanist, President, Producer, Performer, Artist & Educator. She is the President of the Women* Writing Lab Berlin (WWLB), has taught workshops for GLADT and Feminist film organizations, and is currently in Drag King training. Her work has been featured in: The Bear: Favorite Storyteller (2018 & 2020), KCRW and the Goethe Institute (2018 & 2020), What's Afghan Punk Rock Anyway?! (2019), The Ghosts of Berlin: Der Geister von Berlin (2019), Literarische Diverse (2019), Teach the Rainbow: Insights from LGBTeachers about Queer Visibility (2020), and much more. She has had the honor of performing for Pop-Kultur, the Humboldt Forum, GLADT, Wicked, Nightschool Berlin, Viva Con Aqua, the IDP Collective, Media for Change, Refuge Worldwide, and the Iranian Re(connect) Festival. By sharing her narratives and perspectives, she hopes to reach out to the world and introduce them to hers. By sharing her narratives and perspectives, she hopes to reach out to the world and introduce them to hers: www.awerfjil.com.  @awerfjil #awerfjil

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s