Excerpt from “Nightschool”

Check out the full performance here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wHZqcU6ciiQ

Mama never said I was pretty growing up

She said it was cuz 

She didn’t want it to be my 

Only feature

So I believed to be ugly

And when my breasts grew full

And my knees ached from the weight of them

I was called a tomboy

Flooded with hormones, aggression, and hairy pits,

And became the Beast from the Middle East

So I believed to be ugly

Until the two towers  fell

While walking down glass corridor halls

And the Christian Youth had found their new crusade

And I believed to be hated.

But all these things I had believed to be

Had become disillusionments 

in my 20’s

My mind ravaged by a man

As my faith was raped by the system

Body buried beneath forms x, 1040, and C

While tinnitus buzzed in the left

A feeling about being reminded of something

Someone I had once believed to be

But I could not think of self

While trying to survive

Learning self-inoculation against

The gravity of global virolity

The fury of each new pain 

Remembers caliced conquests

lessening the intensity

Now

I am believed

to be learned, experienced, pseudo-spiritual

Searching to satiate the thirst of

A fluid life

And yet,

I do not know 

What I believe.

Published by Allia (A.E.) Sadeghipour

"When I was a little girl, a spirit followed me to Las Vegas. Running alongside the moving truck, it's legs twisting into wings, it howled, 'Write damn you!'" Allia (A.E.) Sadeghipour is a Queer Iranian-American Surrealist, humanist, writer, teacher, punk and poet. She is the President of the Women* Writing Berlin Lab (WWBL) and taught workshops for GLADT and Feminist film organizations. She won the Sherry Debrowski Prize for Best Feminist Multi-Genre Fiction writer in 2009 and has not stopped since. Most recently, her work has been featured in: The Bear: Favorite Storyteller (2018 & 2020), KCRW and the Goethe Institute (2018 & 2020), The V Series Poetry Anthology (2019), Berlin Untelevised (2019), Coven (2019), What's Afghan Punk Rock Anyway?! (2019), The Ghosts of Berlin: Der Geister von Berlin (2019), Literarische Diverse (2019), Teach the Rainbow: Insights from LGBTeachers about Queer Visibility (2020), and much more. She has had the honor of performing for GLADT, Wicked, Nightschool Berlin, Viva Con Aqua, the IDP Collective, and the Iranian Re(connect) Festival. By sharing her narratives and perspectives, she hopes to reach out to the world and introduce them to hers: www.awerfjil.com.  @awerfjil #awerfjil

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